April 27, 2016

MUSINGS + MOTIFS

MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS
MUSINGS + MOTIFS

Recently I have had the opportunity to spend more time with my longest and dearest friend (who, incidentally, took the pictures for this blog post). It’s funny because months and years can pass without us seeing or speaking to each other, but when we link up, nothing has changed. It’s as if time has stood still. We laugh as hard as we used to and understand each other better than ever. This is refreshing in a world where friendships are forged (and broken) for status, popularity and instagram likes. I am grateful for the purity and truth of friendships such as this, especially in a time when loyalty is scarce. Every person I have ever had (or continue to have) a friendship with holds qualities I admire. Even the people who turned out to be not so nice overall. Your friends are a reflection of you, and as such, I have a wonderfully eclectic yet strong group of people around me who are creative, artistic, intelligent, opinionated, successful, socially conscious and full of heart.

I have always looked at my friends as extended family. My girlfriends are the sisters I never had. They want only the best for me and are my biggest cheerleaders. They are my role models and my teachers. They encourage me to follow my heart and my dreams, motivate me to reach my potential and never judge my mistakes or repress my truth. It’s hard to find many friendships like these because the type of camaraderie I’m talking about requires hard work and can take a lifetime to build. In addition, new friends increasingly come with hidden motives and secret agendas. I wrote a blog post about toxic friendships and how to identify a true friend from a fake one a while back. Recently I’ve seen a number of articles and videos going viral regarding the negative effects of toxic friendships on your physical health. Moral is simple – Don’t be afraid to be stingy with your time or your friendship as both are valuable commodities that ought not be wasted. I say this because there are people I considered to be genuine friends in the past who have disappointed me. Not necessarily due to outright betrayal, but more so with the lack of effort and dedication shown in order to cultivate and nurture a true bond that actually means something. I’ve never kept a large circle, but in some instances, when embarking on new friendships that ultimately fail, I would always wonder why? You’d be surprised at how many people hold you in lesser regard than you do them – their actions will demonstrate accordingly.

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of girl. Full investment or none at all – applicable to business, relationships and indeed my friendships. Knowing who you are, what you stand for and the value you bring to anybodies table is key. My friendship is valuable, it runs deep, it is all encompassing and it is reserved for those who are deserving and show the same in kind. Friends should support your endeavours instead of blocking them – they shouldn’t see you as a threat. Friends should be able to confide in each other and express themselves fully without fear of reproach. Friends should be able to tell each other exactly like it is and as such, you should respect their counsel instead of letting ego distort it into a sinister jealousy or hate campaign. To think there are people who I considered my friend who would not even call me to wish me a happy birthday, or congratulate me on my engagement…

When it comes to friendships, It’s not always about real one’s or fake ones. It’s simply about who is and who isn’t one… 

GUNS N ROSES t-shirt // GOLDIE jacket // TOPSHOP jeans // GUCCI boots